Thursday, 6 October 2016

The Waiting Game


The waiting game begins...

I am not sure what time was it but I remembered asking a nurse at the station if there is any possibility to get a room. She was kind enough to offer me a spare labor room (these rooms are normally left under utilized - not sure why) to rest while waiting to be warded. It was probably close to 2pm because I remembered praying for Zuhur. Husband came with food and then left again for the prayer room. I had my lunch first. The husband came back. A nurse came to collect blood samples for FBC (full blood count?) and monitor my blood pressure and heart rate. Before long, I was informed that I can be warded. They asked if I am in pain and if I would like to be sent up on a wheelchair. I accepted the offer since it is a long walk up to the ward and my tummy really is at its biggest in my whole life.

Husband was asked to meet me at the ward (yup, this is how things work in Hospital Putrajaya, husbands would have to enter via another route - visitor's route up front). Once settled in, I think it is close to 4pm-ish and I remembered him excusing himself for Asr prayers already. By now I am not sure why I did not perform my prayers. Or I have forgotten I did but this is when the blurry memories started.

I only briefly remembered waking up at night probably around 8pm-ish with a sharp pain in my tummy. Probably the contractions starting already. The husband is asleep on the floor next to me because there is no extra bed there (its the twin-sharing room) and I can only squeeze his hands and moaned in pain.

Every time I did that he would record the time when the contractions came. Masa tu memang rasa macam hilang ingatan dah. Setiap kali contractions datang, rasa sakit sangat memang tak boleh fikir apa-apa melainkan mengerang kesakitan. Tapi mengenangkan bilik tu sharing jadi memang cuba sedaya upaya tak menangis kuat-kuat sebab jiran sebelah tu baru sahaja melahirkan bayi.

Officially the pain started around 10pm. More frequent. I requested some pain relief from the nurses. They checked my opening but it is still at 2cm dilated. Frustrating ok. Dah dari siang tadi dah and that is more than 12-hours my water broke. I was informed I would have to be on antibiotics just in case if there is an infection.

That night was a blur of drifting to sleep and waking up crying from the pain.

Finally at 4am the pain is really bad I had to ring for the nurse. They checked and I am already 4cm dilated which means I can be wheeled into the labor room soon. I was given enema to help me get rid of any stool. At this point the pain made me really really feel like pushing already but told not to do so else it will tear. I repeat, they specifically said IT will TEAR. Just a couple of minutes downing enema, I feel like going to the toilet. There I am doubled-up in pain and trying not to push while being able to feel "something" is coming out from down under. I cried. Yes. I cried and told the husband "please help me, sakit sangat". Those are my exact words.

Once rasa dah habis keluar apa yang patut tu I went out and saw a wheelchair ready for me. The husband asked to be excused because it is time for Subuh prayers already. Already? Where did the time go?

Once wheeled into the labor room, bergegar seluruh badan sebab sejuk dan kesakitan. I have never felt so much pain before and the fact that it comes and goes is so annoying because it is out of my control. Period pain times a hundred? Things out of my control - the least favorite of mine.

I remembered (banyak perkataan ni sekarang sebab nak recall something that has happened 2 months ago), being supported by a nurse to get up from the wheelchair dalam keadaan menggeletar and all I can do is look at her and she looked back apologetically at me. I told the nurse I would like to get the epidural injection please sebab dah tak tahan. They helped me change into the hospital gown and then settled me onto the bed hooked up with CTG and I don't know what else is there.

I probably dozed off again whenever the pain disappeared and then opened my eyes to the only window in the room. The sky is deep purple with a hint of sunrise. So that brings us forward to probably 7am-ish?

An anesthetist walked in, asked me to sit still at the edge of the bed and hug a pillow. She told me not to move a millimeter else... she didn't say else lah.

I didn't even feel any pain when she inserted the needle because the contraction is overpowering anything at that moment. She left the room with instructions that I press on the button connected to the epidural dispenser machine if I feel pain. It will only release a certain amount into my body and I can only press another dose after a certain amount of time (see how I forgot the details again there). The husband finally came in (husbands are not allowed until patient is all settled in-kot?) and again I drifted off to sleep.

Even with the epidural, you can still feel a certain pressure.

Now we wait for the arrival.