Monday 15 December 2014

Borrowed from Heaven Pt.3

And so it came to the day when I received a news of a friend who will be moving to the UK with his wife. We had a WhatsApp group chat and quickly arranged for a reunion. Two could not make it though but there were other seniors who attended. It kind of came at the right moment when my morning sickness started to fade. To me it was good news since the reunion was arranged at one of my favorite restaurant where we frequented during our first job days. We had a quick chat since the seniors can only spare an hour of lunch break. We wished him and his wife all the best on their new journey and hope that we can come and visit them soon.

On my way back, I made a quick stop at my second job's office in Petaling Jaya to return a friend's casserole dish from my housewarming dinner a few months ago. It was not a quick stop after all. Most of the people I worked with waved me over to their workstation and we exchanged pleasantries. How life is treating us and a little bit of office gossips here and there. The big bosses were away - I was thankful since I did not plan to answer any question of "considering to come back and work here?". 

It felt great being able to get out of the house and meet people. Don't get me wrong. I looooove meeting people. Too bad my last job killed my faith in humanity. We'll probably get to that story sometime later.

I managed to reach home before the husband does and since I need to rush for my evening prayers, I decided to take a quick shower. That was when I saw it. That brown dot on the liners. Ha. Probably nothing. Probably because I was too tired from the long walk from parking lot to the restaurant or up the flight of stairs at my old office. I quickly brush away any worry and wait for the husband to come home. That was a Thursday. Even if I said the morning sickness has gone, no doubt it is still there. The uneasiness, the bloated feeling. But just a little.

SATURDAY
We were in Shah Alam for lunch with the in laws. Had nasi Arab and that was like the only solid food I had in weeks. Upon reaching home and preparing for prayer, I saw more than a dot of brown discharge. We tried not to panic and went to see a doctor. An ultrasound was done. There was no heartbeat. The doctor suggested that I see my current doctor and sent me away with a note. 

MONDAY
Tried to set up an appointment with my specialist but she is currently unavailable and I only want female doctor.

TUESDAY
Finally able to see my specialist. An ultrasound was done. No heartbeat present and no flow observed. Sent down to the lab for a blood test and was told, there are rare cases where the heartbeat is absent and came back strong in 14th or even 16th week of pregnancy. Today was my 12th week of pregnancy.

WEDNESDAY
There it is again. I Googled it up but most of the findings says a little staining is normal. Besides, it was never the color of blood red. Always brown or pale yellow. I called up the hospital and was told the results are not in yet and they told me to hang in there.

THURSDAY
Nothing happened. Sigh of relief?

FRIDAY
I actually felt better today. Let's cook up something nice for the husband. Again I called the hospital to follow up on my lab results. The calls went unanswered. We had our dinner and catch up on a TV series before his futsal session. He did asked if I wanted to come along and I said no, I could use more sleep time before the baby arrived. He kissed me on the forehead and left the house.

FRIDAY 2300hrs
As I was getting ready for my night prayers, a visit to the toilet is a must. I wonder how pregnant ladies handle these multiple visits to the toilet everyday/every hour - and I am only just a few weeks into pregnancy. Jack climbed into bed, and I left for the bathroom. I cannot tell you how I can actually feel my heart stopped when  I saw the amount of blood I saw that night. I tried not to panic and reach for the toilet storage to find a pad. Suddenly I heard Jack scratching the door trying to get in. I opened the door and told him not to panic. Let's call Reza and see if he picks up. Jack was restless and I kept telling him to calm down. It was as if he knows something is off. The phone rang until it went to voicemail. Guess the game has already started. I tried a neighbor across the street, kakak too did not answer. I tried another number and kakak picked up. Told her what happened. Now my heart is back. I felt it thump so quickly I might faint. Kakak said she dare not drive Reza's red car. Lucky enough, a few abangs were outside smoking and chatting. One abang Jo was kind enough to notice something wrong and whisk us into his car. 

SATURDAY 0000hrs
The first hospital stop would not accept me reason being the pregnancy is still "too early" and they are not "properly equipped". I was advised to see my current doctor all the way in KL.We reached the A&E entrance and the triage nurse quickly check for my vitals. I was then wheeled in to the "orange category" beds. I was left alone. Across was another couple with their young child. I heard coughing and the whimpers of a boy next to me. I overheard his conversation with the doctor. Apparently his ears got burnt while using his handphone while the device is plugged in to charge. There was a mention of the charger not being "original" and posts on Facebook about such incidents.

SATURDAY 0015hrs
A doctor finally came to see me accompanied by a nurse. He asked the usual question of how are you and what are you in for. He paused after I said "no heartbeat and no flow observed". He pats me on my hand and said he waited 8 years before his wife told him they're finally having a baby. Told me to just relax (no I cannot do that when you try to twist and turn to get the needles in), while he call my specialist. Chances are she will only come in to see me in the morning and another nurse will show me to my room since they want me to stay overnight for observation. I was getting sleepy. All I could do was to recite some Ya-sin. I decided to text on my family's WhatsApp group to tell them not to panic but I'm in the emergency room yada yada. Please say a prayer for me.

SATURDAY 0100hrs
I heard familiar footsteps rushing to my bed. True enough, Reza pulled the curtain apart. Wearing that worried look on his face. All he could say was "I'm sorry I'm sorry". We hugged. Me saying "It's okay, I'm fine". Trying to avoid moving the needle stuck on my wrist too much. We hold hands. 

"I came as soon as I can. I was in a rush to get back to you so I left my phone in the bag and drove home only to find Jack answering the door and meowing like crazy. That was when I thought of checking the phone. There was a lot of missed calls from the abang-abangs,"
"How is Jack? "
"Sounds like he was mad at me,"
"I hope he's okay. I left some food for him before I left. I can tell they're going to keep me here a little longer,"
We finally settled into my room at 0130hrs. I got the menara rebung view. It was cosy and cold. There was an extra bed for Reza to crash on. The nurse left with instructions to let her know whenever I change my pads.

I can't recall when or how did I fall asleep. 

to be continued....