Thursday 6 October 2016

The Waiting Game

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

The waiting game begins...

I am not sure what time was it but I remembered asking a nurse at the station if there is any possibility to get a room. She was kind enough to offer me a spare labor room (these rooms are normally left under utilized - not sure why) to rest while waiting to be warded. It was probably close to 2pm because I remembered praying for Zuhur. Husband came with food and then left again for the prayer room. I had my lunch first. The husband came back. A nurse came to collect blood samples for FBC (full blood count?) and monitor my blood pressure and heart rate. Before long, I was informed that I can be warded. They asked if I am in pain and if I would like to be sent up on a wheelchair. I accepted the offer since it is a long walk up to the ward and my tummy really is at its biggest in my whole life.

Husband was asked to meet me at the ward (yup, this is how things work in Hospital Putrajaya, husbands would have to enter via another route - visitor's route up front). Once settled in, I think it is close to 4pm-ish and I remembered him excusing himself for Asr prayers already. By now I am not sure why I did not perform my prayers. Or I have forgotten I did but this is when the blurry memories started.

I only briefly remembered waking up at night probably around 8pm-ish with a sharp pain in my tummy. Probably the contractions starting already. The husband is asleep on the floor next to me because there is no extra bed there (its the twin-sharing room) and I can only squeeze his hands and moaned in pain.

Every time I did that he would record the time when the contractions came. Masa tu memang rasa macam hilang ingatan dah. Setiap kali contractions datang, rasa sakit sangat memang tak boleh fikir apa-apa melainkan mengerang kesakitan. Tapi mengenangkan bilik tu sharing jadi memang cuba sedaya upaya tak menangis kuat-kuat sebab jiran sebelah tu baru sahaja melahirkan bayi.

Officially the pain started around 10pm. More frequent. I requested some pain relief from the nurses. They checked my opening but it is still at 2cm dilated. Frustrating ok. Dah dari siang tadi dah and that is more than 12-hours my water broke. I was informed I would have to be on antibiotics just in case if there is an infection.

That night was a blur of drifting to sleep and waking up crying from the pain.

Finally at 4am the pain is really bad I had to ring for the nurse. They checked and I am already 4cm dilated which means I can be wheeled into the labor room soon. I was given enema to help me get rid of any stool. At this point the pain made me really really feel like pushing already but told not to do so else it will tear. I repeat, they specifically said IT will TEAR. Just a couple of minutes downing enema, I feel like going to the toilet. There I am doubled-up in pain and trying not to push while being able to feel "something" is coming out from down under. I cried. Yes. I cried and told the husband "please help me, sakit sangat". Those are my exact words.

Once rasa dah habis keluar apa yang patut tu I went out and saw a wheelchair ready for me. The husband asked to be excused because it is time for Subuh prayers already. Already? Where did the time go?

Once wheeled into the labor room, bergegar seluruh badan sebab sejuk dan kesakitan. I have never felt so much pain before and the fact that it comes and goes is so annoying because it is out of my control. Period pain times a hundred? Things out of my control - the least favorite of mine.

I remembered (banyak perkataan ni sekarang sebab nak recall something that has happened 2 months ago), being supported by a nurse to get up from the wheelchair dalam keadaan menggeletar and all I can do is look at her and she looked back apologetically at me. I told the nurse I would like to get the epidural injection please sebab dah tak tahan. They helped me change into the hospital gown and then settled me onto the bed hooked up with CTG and I don't know what else is there.

I probably dozed off again whenever the pain disappeared and then opened my eyes to the only window in the room. The sky is deep purple with a hint of sunrise. So that brings us forward to probably 7am-ish?

An anesthetist walked in, asked me to sit still at the edge of the bed and hug a pillow. She told me not to move a millimeter else... she didn't say else lah.

I didn't even feel any pain when she inserted the needle because the contraction is overpowering anything at that moment. She left the room with instructions that I press on the button connected to the epidural dispenser machine if I feel pain. It will only release a certain amount into my body and I can only press another dose after a certain amount of time (see how I forgot the details again there). The husband finally came in (husbands are not allowed until patient is all settled in-kot?) and again I drifted off to sleep.

Even with the epidural, you can still feel a certain pressure.

Now we wait for the arrival.

xoxo 

Thursday 15 September 2016

Pop!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

---------------------------------

3 August 2016 (7-8am)

Mummy, rasa penat lah. After breakfast ni nak tido balik lepas tu baru kita pergi Tesco ok?

(mum agreed)

Went upstairs, draw the curtains and settled into bed.

(bunyi Harley Davidson jiran memekak awal pagi - sabar - tapi sebenarnya marah juga sebab terkejut - sambung tutup mata cuba tidur)

POP!

My eyes sprang open. I heard it. I felt "something"popped. A moment after I felt something flowing out bit by bit. This is it, I thought. I slowly got up and walked to the toilet. That "something" trickled slowly down my legs. Ah, sudah! Went to the toilet and saw murky water. Changed into pad and slowly walked downstairs.

Mummy, cik Anne rasa air ketuban pecah. :)

Ya Allah! Cepat call Reza suruh balik sekarang. Ada rasa sakit kah?

Ok. Sikda sakit (tak ada sakit). Relax mummy.

Tried dialing the husband's mobile. No answer. Tried again.

Hello Sayang, busy ke?

Eh ni bukan Reza. Reza pergi mana tah ada discussion telefon dia tinggal atas meja ni.

Oh yeke? Boleh tolong carikan Reza tak? Mintak dia telefon balik. Urgent.

Ok. Tunggu 5 minit lagi ok.

Tunggu.

His call finally came in.

Hi Sayang. Kenapa call?

Hi Bear (that is what I call him in case I never mentioned this before). Busy ke?

Tak lah. Kenapa?

I think my water broke. Can you come home?

(bunyi macam tengah tersengih)
Yeke? Are you in pain?

No. Takde rasa contraction. Come home eh.

Ok. Get ready everything lah eh.

Ok. Drive safe. See you at home. I love you.

I love you too.

Kemas barang. Good thing sebenarnya my hospital bag is properly packed like just a few days ago as I realised I was entering week 38 soon. Final stuff to pack is my towel, toiletries, disposable panties.

Took a shower and got myself ready downstairs. Was talking to mummy when I heard his car in front of the house. He came in with a salaam and smiling.

Bear nak pergi toilet dulu ke?

Yeah.

Talked to mummy lagi.

By the time we are ready to go, I salam mummy.

Ok mummy, kamek orang turun dolok ok. Mak, mintak ampun mintak maaf dosa cik Anne mak. Ampunkan cik Anne mak. Ampunkan cik Anne.

Sikpa. Mak memang ampunkan.

ya Allah. Perasaan time tu. Memang sedih. Saya menangis sedikit. Saya akan pergi berjuang bertarung nyawa untuk melahirkan zuriat buat suami saya. Betapa besarnya perjuangan itu dan betapa takutnya diri saya. Beberapa malam yang lalu ada terlintas di fikiran, will I survive the labor? Will I die giving birth? ya Allah, panjangkanlah umurku agar aku dapat menjaga suamiku, kedua orang tua ku dan anak-anakku. Sihatkanlah tubuh badanku. Ampunilah dosaku.

All bags in the car and off we go. Hospital Putrajaya is only 10 minutes away. The weather was fine. Cool Wednesday morning. Texted the husband's family in group Whatsapp and told them water broke and we are on our way to the hospital.

Reached the hospital at 9am-ish. Labor emergency entrance is located uphill - separated from the usual Admissions & Emergency below. Checked myself in at the counter. Informed the nurse my water broke at approximately 8am, no pain, still feel the flow. I was registered, handed over my "pink book" (the prenatal checkup book) and was called into the triage. Husbands are not allowed in this area so the husband waited outside with my bag.

Nurse asked for my urine sample - normal. Asked to lie down on the bed and hooked up to the CTG. Nurse asked if I am in pain - I said no. She said there are contraction spikes on the graph though. Another nurse came in to check my temperature and blood pressure. All ok.

Waited for a bit and I can still feel the flow.

Another nurse/doctor (I am not sure), came in and checked for opening. 2cm dilated. Was told the labor ward is full today so once I am done with the CTG monitoring, I will be asked to wait outside before I can be checked into the ward.

Walked out and sat with the husband. We took a couple of photos as a reminder that would be the last time we will be just the two of us. Tapi ambil gambar "wefie" sahaja sebab segan nak suruh pak guard luar Labor Ward entrance tu untuk tolong ambilkan. Haha.

We sat in silence at the waiting area. 10am, once in a while ada juga rasa cramping sikit. But still bearable. Asked the husband to buy some food (nasi lemak and some bread and drinks) from the cafetaria.

The waiting game begins.

xoxo

Tuesday 3 May 2016

25w

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Alhamdulillah...

cepat je masa berlalu kan? Rupanya dah 4 minggu tak update blog sebab finally kami decide nak furnishkan hall tingkat atas ni untuk jadi mini office. Makanya tunggulah order cabinet dari Groupon and then assemble sendiri. Murah je. Around RM290 including shipping.

Nak assemble pun senang sebab saya dan dan husband memang suka assemble2 furniture. Seronok dapat gurau2 dan buat activity out of the ordinary.

So, minggu ni tak scan lagi. Nak tunggu lagi sikitla sebab bulan lepas scan 11/4, walaupun dah 4 weeks but ok je kalau scan lambat lagi sikit nak genapkan 11hb tu jugak.

Last weekend pun kami busy sangat. Dengan the usual Saturday morning temankan husband pergi main basketball di PJ, lepas tu terus kami pergi KLCC nak visit Homedec 2016. Cadangnya nak review harga water heater, ceiling fan dan office chair. Rupa-rupanya harga online jauh lagi murah. Nak kira installation fee pun takkan sampai harga di expo tu sebab jiran tetangga sini banyak contacts untuk electrician, plumber etc. Makanya kami sakitkan sahaja kaki ni untuk pusing satu Homedec cuci-cuci mata. Antara yang menarik lagi ialah 3D wall panel untuk gantikan styling pakai wallpaper. Tapi mahalla jugak sebab bila kira nak letak satu dinding (backwall master bedroom berukuran 10' in height dan 12' in length), boleh cecah RM1k++. Hehe, So saya cakapla pakai Memento paint jugak murah. Boleh je buat sendiri Memento tu asalkan ikut tutorial dan bersabar banyak2.

Memandangkan dah kat KLCC tu, kami menyempat la jugak pergi makan di foodcourt, tempat saya makan time kerja dulu. Memang minat dengan mee wantan di situ. Sebab it reminds me of mee kolok back in Sarawak. A few weeks ago pun adala visit restoran Dapur Sarawak di Jalan Ipoh, order mee kolok tapi semestiinya benchmark saya sangatla tinggi tetapi tak lah sampai mengecewakan sangat.. Takpelah, cukup untuk lepaskan keinginan. Husband pulak order laksa sarawak. Sedap katanya tapi tak setanding yang kami pernah makan di Kota Kinabalu dulu (haha! yang di Miri pun dia cakap tak umph macam yang di KK tu).

Sunday pulak kami ke baby expo di PICC. Yang ni kami sanggup pergi sebab dekat dengan rumah dan confirm tak ramai orang. Same concept, kami dah sediakan list harga online dan ruang kosong untuk list harga di expo.

So far kami cuma survey harga diapers, wipes, bottles, dan breastpump je.

Sampai je expo tu, staff Enfagrow bagi sample susu ibu mengandung dan menyusu, mak ai manisnya. Rupanya sukatan dia 6 scoop. Fuh! Sekarang minum Anmum materna je, sukatan recommended ialah 4 scoop tapi saya ambil 2 scoop sahaja dan minum waktu siang atas arahan doktor. Sebab family ada history diabetes jadi mesti ambil langkah berjaga-jaga.

Lepastu nampak booth Guardian, ada offer Mamypoko, newborn 90pcs for RM58. Cumanya dia ada tinggal satu pack je. Mamypoko ni friends cakap memang sangat bagus tapi sangat mahal. So kami nak test dulu other brands (daripada samples yang kawan bagi) untuk uji sensitivity kulit baby ni nanti before we decided on a brand. Lagipun newborn tak payah beli banyak kot sebab nanti confirm cepat membesar sebab cadang nak fully breastfeed, insyaAllah.

Booth di dalam adala early education (suami gelak2 cakap takpe wife saya boleh ajar sendiri homeschool saja), ada booth baju murah rompers RM5 yang sangat comel tapi tengah ramai ibu2 yang serang booth tu, ada booth stroller canggih yang boleh jadi carseat, stroller, carrier at the price of RM18xx. The idea is good tapi kalo setiap kali nak bukak pasang memang tak elok la sebab kami rasa car seat baby mesti fixed kat kereta je. So our hunt for a light and easy to fold stroller continue.

Then, ada la jumpa bottle Tommee Tippee yang saya memang nak. Belek2 lagi, dia ada offer untuk set packaging steriliser, warmer, travel storagex2, 5oz bottlex1, 9oz bottlex3, sucker and brush at the price of RM529. Jadi kami cuba banding dengan individual loose price di Lazada dan 11Street. Total loose price pun still mahal dari packaging tu jadi kami terus rembat aja.

Mulanya nak pakai hand pump tapi husband cakap yes memangla duduk rumah but it is good ada electric pump supaya tangan boleh free buat keje lain and tak cepat penat. Baiklah. Saya tak kisah cuma risaukan kos untuk electric pump yang bukan murah. Tapi kalau suami nak belanja, apa salahnya kan? :)

Other stuff mostly kawan kami nak serahkan je barang2 dia sebab diorang tak plan nak tambah rakyat. Haha! Sampai car seat pun dia nak bagi sebab baby dia besar. Lahir haritu pun dah 3.67kg. Normal birth ok! Murah rezeki baby ni. Dalam perut dah ada orang nak sedekah. Kawan sorang lagi pun cakap jangan beli bath tub sebab dia nak belikan sekali dengan baby rest untuk letak dalam bathtub tu supaya tak lenguh tangan nak support. Tinggal siram aja baby. :)

Syukur alhamdulillah.

------------

Simptom beberapa minggu ni tak ada yang obvious sangat selain daripada baby makin hari makin kuat menendang. Kadang2 senak juga dibuatnya. Kaki adalah penat sikit rasa semut2 tapi cepat2 naikkan dan rehat atas sofa bila benda ni jadi.

Kerja rumah pulak makin perlahan nak buat. Satu hari vacuum. Lepastu rehat. Esok lusa baru nak mop tapi mop macam dah lama tak buat. These few days baru la ada hujan petang/malam, adalah sejuk sikit dan bolehlah bersihkan rumah tanpa banjir peluh.

-----------

So kiranya post kalini ceritanya, siapa2 yang tengah budget nak buat persiapan sambut baby tu, rasanya budget yang sangat2 penting ialah:

1. Bottles+breastpump
2. Stroller/carseat/carrier/wrap
3. Set berpantang
4. Baby crib

Yang ni antara item yang mahal dan perlu simpanan lebih.

Item 2,3.4 diatas maybe next time kita boleh share ye lepas buat research lain.

(oh, dulu pernah janji nak diskusi tentang ICSI kan? Since tak jadi ICSI/IVF ni sebab kami berjaya conceive naturally, mungkin boleh lawat blog doktor saya dradilah.blogspot.com untuk maklumat lanjut tentang isu2 kesuburan)

Till later,

xoxo 

Wednesday 30 March 2016

20w

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Just a few days ago kami dikejutkan dengan berita seorang rakan yang going through miscarriage at 15w of pregnancy. The news hit us hard and we actually cried. Bagi sesiapa yang pernah melalui miscarriages je faham perasaan tu. The wait for blood tests, the confirmation and reconfirmation through ultrasounds. Finally it came to the day when you have to decide method nak remove baby from the womb.

Husband teared up, lama jugak, because it is one of his bestfriend. Diorang baru kahwin tahun lepas. Kami jadi pengapit (rasanya ada cerita tu di SINI)

Lama jugak kami pause the show that we were watching on tv just to get through the emotional flood tu. Aku message the guy sebab takde number wife dia. I found out about the news pun sebab diorang share kat group whatsapp geng diorang (yang aku dah quit - maybe tak payah lah tahu kenapa kan?).

Esoknya diorang baru nak jumpa dengan doctor and since dah dua kali ultrasound, dah confirmed dah heartbeat dah takde. Latest news I got from them is the wife's instagram photo of them holding hands.

I hope they will go through this phase and come out stronger than ever. Kami tahu bukan senang. It took me awhile jugak nak recover dulu. It took me a week just to let reality sink in and then I don't know how many more months of endless crying and breakdown episodes. Semoga Allah memberikan kekuatan kepada mereka berdua.

Sedihnya sebab patutnya kami akan bersalin selang seminggu je.

-----------------

So, this week dah 20th week. Baby menendang dengan cemerlang. Always ever so strong after food, cold water or just before bed.

Semalam time baby active tendang after dinner, I decided to pull husband's hand and place his palm on my tummy. Tak lama lepas tu baby tendang and he got excited. Dia senyum and macam signal "was that it?", aku angguk je and kitorang tak berani bersuara pun tapi senyum-senyum je tunggu next kick. Takde plak.

Husband flu lagi semalam. On MC. Kesian jugak dia. He told me his records always show MCs at the beginning of the year for the past 1-2 years. I told him my guess is the weather lah kot kan when it is so so hot.

Sekarang ni symptom paling tak best ialah heartburn dan sesak nafas. Baby makin besar dah. Bila sapu minyak kelapa di perut tu aku belek jugak get ready nak jumpa stretch marks. Alhamdulillah belum ada lagi. Maybe I should start measuring my tummy kan? Sekarang dah besar dah, macam frust pulak bila banyak seluar dah tak muat. I need to clear my wardrobe I think.

And yang paling mengecewakan sekarang ialah bila tengok collection RTW baju raya online yang cantik from this one seller yang aku sangat suka. I dont think I can fit into his clothes lah this raya. Been trying to find a matchy-matchy pair for us both. Adala jumpa semalam yang paling murah a pair at RM170. Cantik jugak. Will probably try to whatsapp the seller and ask for sizes.

So, thing is, what size should I buy considering I'll be a bulging 8 months pregnant mother during raya? :O

xoxo

Tuesday 22 March 2016

19w

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

As I was watching Downton Abbey earlier, I felt baby moving. But this time, there was a bulge on my bump. It appeared as soon as it disappeared. I was shocked! :D

The weather has been unbearable lately. It rained for a bit in the afternoon (which I am very grateful for) but after 5pm it is all sunshine again.

Vacuumed the hall today, folded the laundry and that is my limit already. I used to be able to do full swing housecleaning in a day, including mopping. Not anymore I guess.

Baby will make his/her presence known. A kick to remind mama to stop and continue watching Downton Abbey.

I am already at Season 6 on the final few episodes I am afraid. Guess I will have series withdrawal when I am done with Downton Abbey.

Tried new series like Call the Midwife, Upstairs Downstairs (2010), Doctor Who - they're just not the same. Guess I will have to keep searching.

Husband is currently trying to catch up with his Walking Dead episodes. Least of my favorite, really, but still interesting to pick my curiosity on what is going to happen next.

Did I tell you I sweat alot these days?

Sighs.

xoxo

Wednesday 16 March 2016

17032016 what could have been

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

17 March 2015

what could or have been, the day that we celebrate the arrival of a new member in our family.

it was my estimated due date of birth for our very first child, if he/she had survived the pregnancy in 2014.

So this year, on this day, it could have been a birthday party thrown to celebrate his/her first birthday.

Tak tahu kenapa tiba-tiba teringat. Tapi tak apa lah. Bukan rezeki kami. I am sure Allah has His plans laid out perfectly for us.

Sekarang, I am carrying precious cargo in me. :)

I need to take care of myself.

I am looking forward to the day when he/she arrives. Husband pun selalu cakap macam tu bila dia cakap dengan baby.

Kami doakan ini rezeki kami. Tapi kita hanya mampu merancang kan?

xoxo

Tuesday 15 March 2016

18w1D

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Alhamdulillah. Dah lama tak blogging, tengok-tengok dah sampai week 18 rupanya ye? :D

Last Friday dah pergi check up lagi after a month. Pilih klinik biasa je dekat dengan housing area kami. The one before this memang ramai sangat orang dan klinik pun macam shabby semacam. Doktor pun macam rushing sangat nak explain pasal ultrasound images.

So this time decide pergi Klinik Sofea Putra Perdana. Cantik klinik dia. Bersih. Masa masuk nak daftar tu, kaunter tak ada orang. Bila panggil, keluarla this lady yang macam tengah makan malam. Huhu. Apologized and commented "staff pergi pasar malam ye? (sebab ada pasar malam every Friday di deretan kedai sebelah je)". Dia pun mengiyakan je.

Lepas daftar tu, terus masuk sebab tak ada patient lain. Then the lady took her place behind the desk. Ahahaha! Rupanya lady tu ialah doktornya. Tergelak kejap. She took my blood pressure, normal at 100/60. That's considered normal for my size tau (152cm/44kg).

Then pergi timbang berat badan kat bilik sebelah, naik sekilo je jadi 45kg. I asked if kene naik berat badan lagi tak sebab ni pun macam baru recover berat badan yang hilang lepas admitted hospital haritu. Tapi... doktor cakap jangan! Like seriously cakap jangan-jangan. Dia cakap for your size that's already a good progress of 1-2kg per month. Kang baby besar sangat sapa juga susah nak meneran kan? Haha!

We started off generally cari baby, senang je sebab dia macam dah besar jugak, then doctor turn on doppler bagi dengar heartbeat dia, 147beats/minute. That's good. Then ukur lilit kepala dia, body length, lepas tu tengok tulang paha dia (surprisingly memang dan nampak putih sebab dan dense kan?). All in all baby is growing at a healthy rate for his/her age. Banyak doktor explain. Tunjuk placenta (location belah kiri bawah sikit) but no concern for previa sebab nanti bila rahim membesar lagi confirm placenta akan tertarik dan memanjang ke atas. Amniotic liquid pun ok, tak banyak sangat dan tak sikit sangat. (ops! terasa baby kick sikit bila type ni :D)

Lastly husband macam malu-malu tanya, tak nampak ke boy or girl? Doktor gelak lagi (best la doktor ni), dia cakap belum lagi dik oi, maybe next month boleh.

Time ultrasound tu baby lambai-lambai ok, nampak kat monitor dia. Papa dia happy je tengok. Last check-up husband tak ikut plak sebab buat hari bekerja. Lepas ni kitorang set dah akan pergi almost weekend/weekend je and husband akan ikut sama untuk tengok progress baby.

Doctor ambik blood sample sekali untuk check HB. They called on Tuesday (very fast turnaround time), telling me sihat at 11.2. Yeay! Kalau ada case HB rendah kne ambik extra iron and I heard taste ubat iron ni sangat tak best. Phewh!

Supplement doctor suruh maintain je multivitamin biasa and folic acid kalau takleh makan obimin. My only issue with obimin is akan rasa loya (probably sebab iron content dia tinggi). Dr. Adilah ada suggest brand lain tapi tak tercari lagi. Dr. Liyana ni cakap its ok as long as your diet is good and you top up jugak dengan multivitamins lagi.

Oh! Haritu 29 February 2016, malam lepas dinner macam biasa lah kami tengok tv series kan (senang betul dah ada android box ni, dah tak layan astro langsung kecuali sports channel sebab streaming selalu quality tak elok for live matches). Letakla tangan kat perut kan sebab kenyang. Tiba-tiba, rasa macam nudge kat bahagian abdomen bawah belah kanan. Terkejut dan terjerit sikit. Husband pun pause tv tanya kenapa sakit ke? I said baby kicked. Terkedu kejap dan we were teary eyed. Oh! How fast you've grown baby. The days after that sampai lah harini memang active baby ni nudge and kick.

Bagitau Dr. Liyana last week baby dah kick (ada rasa quickening) tu, dia cakap eh cepatnya, normally people can only feel 20 weeks + or 5 month above, probably perut kecik dan kulit nipis kot takde lemak. But it was the best sensation. Malam sebelum tidur dia akan gerak, siang bangun pagi dia akan kejutkan, time tengok tv series dengan mama tengahari kadang dia kacau lagi.

Pergerakan paling banyak yang boleh rasa dengan tangan ialah semalam lepas makan nasi dan ayam masak lemak cili api untuk minum petang. Kelas kau, minum petang makan nasi ngan lauk. Haha!

Truth is sekarang ni memang masih catu makanan sebab kalau makan banyak sangat in one go confirm muntah balik. So far dah...almost berapa hari eh tak muntah. Syukur alhamdulillah. Finally there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Nanti ada update kita poret lagi ye?

Sekarang macam panic bila kawan-kawan tanya dah beli this/that belum?

Sebab.... belum beli apa pun lagi. We still have time... I think. :D

xoxo

Monday 15 February 2016

14w - Prosedur Buka Kad Merah / Pink

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim..

Okay, dalam dua post lepas dah share sikit kan plan nak buka buku merah / pink ni.

Baru dapat tahu daripada jiran, sekarang klinik swasta pun dah boleh buka buku pink ni dan tak perlu menunggu lama di klinik kesihatan ibu dan anak (KK) lagi. Serik juga ketika mengandung dulu (anak pertama kami yang keguguran), terpaksa tunggu lama dengan keadaan klinik yang agak uzur, terpencil, dan pengghawa dingin ala kadar menambahkan kegelisahan para ibu (dan bapa dan anak-anak) di sana.

Isnin
- ambil keputusan untuk buka buku pink di Klinik Suraya Putra Perdana
- nampaknya ramai ibu mengandung pun follow-up di klinik ni
- ramai juga walaupun baru pukul 10 pagi
- doktor ambil tekanan darah, dengar degupan jantung, buat ultrasound dan ujian air kencing
- doktor Suraya sendiri yang jalankan pemeriksaan
- kenapa dengar degupan jantung? sebab aku ada medical history of Rheumatic Fever
- dulu ketika check-up di KK, doktor di sana pernah sediakan surat rujukan ke jabatan kardiologi Hospital Serdang untuk pemeriksaan lanjut
- tak sempat pun dapatkan tarikh pemeriksaan, kandungan kami dah gugur pada minggu ke-12 kehamilan
- I raised this issue but doctor said we will keep an eye on you
- next appointment bulan depan nak raise lagi sebab when I left the clinic doctor takde pun bagi surat rujukan baru
- sibuk sangat kot

Beza prosedur KK dan Klinik Swasta
- KK akan minta salinan sijil nikah, salinan kad pengnalan suami dan isteri, dan salinan bil letrik/air untuk pengesahan alamat (pembahagian penduduk kawasan dan jurisdiction kawasan liputan kk tersebut) ketika pendaftaran (datang awal sebab ramai...!! Rasanya kali terakhir pergi, pendaftaran cuma boleh dilakukan pada hari Isnin hingga Khamis, dan Jumaat adalah by appointment only - KK Pulau Meranti, Puchong)
- klinik swasta (yang aku pergi ni) tak mintak apa-apa dokumen pun kecuali kad pengenalan semasa pendaftaran

Ultrasound
- alhamdulillah, baru masuk 14wks, measurement baby pun ok
- heartbeat observed (walaupun tak pasang doppler)
- doktor tunjuk plasenta mana, tangan, kaki, kepala, tulang belakang
- ukuran bayi 8cm minggu ni! :D
- teruja tengok bila nampak profil rupa bentuk dan raut muka baby dalam perut ni
- kesian juga husband tak dapat nak cuti untuk tengok scam (katanya belum dapat cuti lagi sampaila ada orang boleh back up sikit kerja dia di office), dan harap-harap untuk scan 3D nanti dia boleh cuti
- tapi...doktor cuma print gambar ultrasound imej belakang bayi je. hampa, kalau imej satu lagi tu nampak full kepala badan kaki dan tangan bayi

Lelaki atau perempuan?
- semalam ada borak dengan suami, tanya dia expect baby girl or boy? Dia cakap baby girl sebab kalau mimpi mesti mimpi baby girl. Aku pulak selalu jugak mimpi baby girl tapi aku mengharapkan baby boy
- apa-apapun kami bersyukur dengan kurniaan Allah subhanuwata'la

Kebakaran
- yes, kecil, dirumah kami
- hari ni tadi sibuk ke balai bomba untuk dapatkan laporan
- apa yang terjadi?

kita tunggu post seterusnya lah eh?

jengg jengg..

Allah Maha Besar
Lindungilah kami daripada malapetaka

xoxo

Sunday 14 February 2016

TTC Journey

Our TTC Journey Chronology:

27/6/2014 - Prescribed Clomid 50 mg x 2 / day for 5 days
10/7/2014 - Day 31 - Spotting observed
13/7/2014 - Day 34 - HPT Positive
14/7/2014 - Day 35 - HPT Positive
31/8/2014 - Day 83 - Spotting - Threatened miscarriage
6/9/2014 - Day88 / Day 1 - Miscarriage (admitted to PHKL)
9/10/2014 - Day 34 - Bleeding stopped

22/10/2014 - Day 1 - Period
8/11/2014 - Day 18 - Period stopped
16/11/2014 - Day 1 - Period
22/11/2014 - Day 7 - Period stopped
11/12/2014 - Day 1 - Period
16/12/2014 - Day 6 - Period stopped

5/1/2015 - Day 1 - Period
11/1/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped
31/1/2015 - Day 1 - Period
6/2/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped
28/2/2015 - Day 1 - Period
6/3/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped

31/3/2015 - Day 1 - Period
2/4/2015 - Day 3 - Clomid 50mg x 2/day for 5 days
13/4/2015 - Day 14 - OPK - Positive
14/4/2015 - Day 15 - OPK - Positive
15/4/2015 - Day 16 - OPK - Negative
15/4/2015 - Day 17 - Appointment with Dr. Adilah (banyak sangat follicles)
24/4/2015 - Day 25 - bHCG Negative.

30/4/2015 - Day 1 - Period
2/5/2015 - Day 3 - Clomid 50mg x 1/day for 5 days
6/5/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped
14/5/2015 - Day 15 - IUI
27/5/2015 - Day 28 - bHCG Negative

29/5/2015 - Day 1 - Period
4/6/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped

24/6/2015 - Day 1 - Period
30/6/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped

23/7/2015 - Day 1 - Period
29/7/2015 - Day 7 - Period stopped

18/8/2015 - Day 1 - Period

26/10/2015 - Day 13 -

 - Appointment with Dr. Adilah (ET ok at 7.8cm, follicle abnormal and far from hatching area).
 - Follicle a little abnormal, ada macam kaki yang mengunjur masuk
 - Vitamin D is lower than previous month.
 - Toxoplasmosis antibody is negative
 - Asked to go for HSG again, to call on next D1 at Hospital Tawakkal, Jalan Ipoh, Dr. Fatimah
 - Preparation for HSG, please take one antibiotic the day before, on the day of HSG and one tablet a day after HSG.

 - Continue Vitamin D 2000IUx2 a day for one month, come for blood test on Tues/Fri. Please call for result two working days after.

January menses

Start consume Clomid on D3 to D8 for January cycle. (one tablet per day for five days)
Call Nurse Salina for appt on D11/D12 in January 2016.

--------

20/11/2015 - Day 10 -
 - Appointment with Dr. Fatimah at Hospital Tawakkal Jalan Ipoh for HSG.
 - Result showed no changes/abnormalities since the last HSG in 2014.

-------

Awaiting trip for umrah, period is late for two days with signs of fatigue, bloated, gassy, slight cravinggs and queasiness.

11/12/20f15 - Day 31f

- decided to HPTf durinfg subuh after peeing episode at night. Bangun untuk subuh and its a Friday. Husband is praying and preparing to go to work.

HPT BFP!! finally syukur alhamdulillah. :)

Whatsapp Dr. Adilah and she called me into her office that morning itself. Scan showed gestation at 5weeks. Sac is spotted within womb and cervix is closed up. Doctor advised on vitamins and meds to take and set the next appointment at 8w on 5 Jan 2016. ff


13w5d

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim...

Alhamdulillah we're almost reaching the first base which marks the end of first trimester. Woohoo!

Symptoms dah subside but I still have vomiting episodes yang dalam kawalan (masih sempat lari ke sinki dapur/tandas) untuk muntah.

Fatigue dah slowly hilang juga bila semalam lepas nap dari pukul 9malam sampai 11malam (bangun sebab lapar dan melahap burger sebiji), lepas tu terus tak nak tido sampaila pukul 4.30 pagi. Tak pasti lah disebabkan oleh pepsi yang aku minum atau memang baby ni tak nak tido. Pagi pukul 8.30 dah segar balik. Macam tak cukup tidur tapi macam ok je. Syukur.

Dull pain/cramp dapat dirasai di bahagian abdomen kiri (belah pinggang). Dua hari jugak dah tapi tak lah sakit sangat. Cuma macam lenguh. Round ligament pain pun dah terasa bila selalu terbangun pukul 4.30 pagi dan rasa isi abdomen ni macam ditarik-tarik. Kadang-kadang aku bercakap juga dengan baby, "please baby tolong mama, grow slowly but steadily, we have plenty of time, tak mahu sakit-sakit macam ni ok? kesian mama kan?". Strange enough lepas tu ada rasa lega lah jugak dan boleh sambung tido.

Sekarang issue nak buka buku merah dan daftar ke Hospital Putrajaya Full Payment Patient. Jadi nak kongsi lah sikit tips yang jiran kongsi pada aku.

Memanglah kalau bersalin dia hospital swasta terbaik, tetapi, kalau ada komplikasi, anda akan dirujuk kepada hospital kerajaan dimana kelengkapan semuanya mencukupi. Jadi, penting untuk kita daftar buku merah. Tanpa buku merah ni, nanti hospital kerajaan tak akan terima kes kita. Awalnya plan memang nak bersalin di hospital swasta kegemaran aku. Tapi memandangkan kos agak tinggi dan lokasi hospital tu jauh (tak nak ter beranak atas MEX), dan atas nasihat doktor Adilah, kami pun bercadang nak bersalin di Hospital Putrajaya sahaja. Mudahan dapatla Dr. Hamidah tu ye sebab memang nak bersalin dengan doktor wanita Islam sahaja.

Jadi, buku merah ni boleh didaftarkan di mana-mana klinik yang melakukan pemeriksaan untuk ibu dan anak. Bila dah dapat estimated due date (EDD), dan sudah menjalani ujian saringan ibu mengandung (nanti update senarai ujian), bolehlah telefon FPP Hospital Putrajaya dan inform EDD dan buat temujanji dengan doktor sakit puan pilihan anda. Jiran cakap, Hospital Putrajaya akan set tarikh bulan ke 7 untuk jumpa sekali dan lepas tu jumpa lagi bila dah nak bersalin. Pemeriksaan asas lain (bulanan, mingguan) boleh dibuat di klinik swasta serendah RM70 sahaja setiap lawatan (nanti update juga apa yang diperiksa selain ultrasound).

.....

Esoknya plan nak pergi klinik lah sebab sekarang dah lebih bertenaga. :) semoga urusan dipermudahkan.

Sekarang ni bila dah ada tenaga, macam tak boleh duduk diam sebab kalau duduk diam rasa gelisah semacam. Kakak aku cakap tu kadang-kadang gangguan. Doakan kami dilindungi daripada semua tu lah ye.

Baru-baru ni pun jiran ada cerita seram jugak lepas dia pergi berubat dengan ustaz. Aku malas nak join conversation macam tu. Sebab aku yakin, Allah akan lindungi kami sentiasa. Aku mesti kuat. Awal mengandung haritu asal masuk waktu Asar/Maghrib je aku berperangai sampai nangis. Allahuakbar. Bila suami sentuh perut dan berdoa barulah tenang. Lindungilah kami ya Allah daripada sebarang musibah.

Hmm... tak cerita lagi kan pasal trip kami ke umrah haritu? Nanti aku curi masa memandangkan jari dan badan ni dah mula tak reti duduk diam.

Doakan juga kandungan ni sihat dan morning (all-day) sickness ni berakhir secepat mungkin.

amin.

Allahuakbar!

Thursday 28 January 2016

11w3d

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

aha..
jangan tak tahu
10w4d haritu serah diri kat klinik sebab dehydrated, doc masukkan air garam satu pint. Baru ok.
semalam baru discharge daripada hospital
kenapa?
sebab gastric melampau, muntah ada spot darah, berat badan turun, muntah yang ekstrim lebih daripada exorcist, tak lalu makan dan dehydrated.

Condition tu dipanggil... Hyperemesis Gravidarum atau singkatannya HG.
Antara ikon terkenal yang pernah mengalami kondisi sama ialah Kate Middleton. For both of her pregnancy kot kalau tak silap.

Jadinya tidurlah di hospital 2 malam. IV masuk air garam 5 pint, ubat tahan muntah, ubat gastric dan menu hospital yang sihat. Syukur alhamdulillah sembuh juga. Finally after so long aku dapat makan dan tak jadi Emily Rose lepas tu.

Lepas discharge semalam, petang tu ada lah jugak rasa tak selesa kejap. Malam pun rasa tak berapa sihat sebab aku tak makan sangat kat rumah. Silap. Bila perut lapar lah makin teruk rasa loya dan nak muntah tu.

Minggu 11 ni simptom baru.

Sakit kepala yang teramat. Rasa macam panas je kepala ni. Husband picit sambil baca doa. Baru dapat tidur. Kesian dia. Sabar sungguh melayan isteri yang manja ni.

Scan week 11 ni bila sukat baby, dia dah membesar as 12 weeks. Orang panggil gestation 12 weeks. Seronok juga. Time Dr. A scan dia tido elok je. Gerak sikit je tapi heartbeat kuat sungguh. Mama dia la macam kain buruk sakit huru hara.

Doc suruh datang balik nanti bila free, so aku set week 16 lah kot. Nak balik berehat dulu.

Apparently GH ni tak di cover oleh insurance ye rakan-rakan. Apparently, insurance tak cover anything related to condition during pregnancy. Total bill during the stay was RM2k. But I recovered so money is nothing as compared to risking my life and the kid's life.

Mama dah nak balik dah Sabtu ni sebab minggu depan majlis bertunang adik. Sedihnya, bila dah nak sihat nak manja dengan mama, tapi dia dah nak balik. :( takpelah. Nanti time berpantang je lah manja lagi. Tahun ni tak sempat balik raya kot sebab dah 8 months dah time raya tu. :( :( :(

Maybe parents boleh beraya sini instead? :D

-------

Sebenarnya ada cerita / teladan yang aku nak sampaikan ketika menunggu doktor di ruangan emergency.

Time aku sampai tu adalah satu lagi kereta yang sampai dengan sorang wanita dan nenek. Nenek tu atas wheelchair dan complain dia sakit, dia terseksa. Lepas nurse triage assess dia dulu sebab macam kronik sangat je, she got wheeled in.

Lepas tu turn aku. Aku dapat zon orange jugak sebab blood pressure dah menurun sebab aku tak makan. Dapatla katil sebelah nenek tu.

Dipendekkan cerita, nenek tu rupanya nyanyuk. Doktor dah datang dan ubat pun dah bagi, boleh dia tanya anak dia lagi doktor takkan datang ke? Kenapa lama sangat? Menangis aku mengenangkan nasib dia. Tapi yang buat aku nangis dalam kemarahan - sambil tahan sakit gastrik sendiri - ialah cara anak dia jawab soalan-soalan dia yang berulang macam radio rosak tu, sungguh kasar. She grunted, huffed and puffed at her.

Nak je aku jerit, woi tu ibu kau, tolong respect sikit ok. Tapi tak. Aku pun tak tahu lah apa nak jadi. Finally nenek tu tadi bertenang setelah makan ubat walaupun masih jugak dia tanya sekali sekala, mana doktor? Doktor takkan datang ke? Diorang tak kasi ubat ke?

Yang paling menyedihkan, bila anak dia keluar sekejap, masih jugak dia panggil nama anak dia.

"(nama anak dia).....sakitlah...rasa terseksa sangat.."

itu yang dia asyik ulang.

Yang aku kagum, walaupun nenek ni takkan ingat apa yang jadi pada dia 5 minit yang lalu, dia tetap ingat nama anak dia dan rupa anak dia. Itulah kasih seorang ibu. Kasih anak? hampeh!

Dalam tangis aku berdoa,

Ya Allah, kau sihatkanlah ibu dan ayahku sampai hujung nyawa diorang. Bagilah aku peluang untuk berbakti sepuasnya pada diorang. Janganlah kau turunkan penyakit nyanyuk pada diorang supaya kami masih dapat duduk bersama dan bercerita kisah lama-lama, sampailah Kau jemput mereka kembali.


Sedih kan?

Sila nangis.

Aku nangis takpa. Aku tengah hormonal.

xoxo 

Wednesday 20 January 2016

10w1d

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Tough

You know whats tough?

Being pregnant

Morning sickness yang all day sickness sampai ke malam

Waktu post ini dikarang pun tengah melayan sickness sambil tak tahu bila acid reflux nak jadi atau bila perlu lari ke toilet untuk muntah macam dalam wayang exorcist. Syukur masih boleh minum air

Diet pemakanan sekarang hanyalah teiggies perisa coklat dan butterscotch gardenia. Kadang-kadang bubur nasi sejuk dicampur gula. 

Dua hari lepas sambil mkn bubur nasi depan tv sambil tengok orang tv makan kek secret recipe. Maka jadilah emily tose kembali. Depan tv. Atas lantai. Mama tengah makan. Tapi mama sanggup berhenti dan tolong lap aku. Sigh. 

Tak elok mengeluh. Ini kan yang engkah mintak yang engkau doa yang engkau tangiskan? Sekarang dah dapat kenapa mengeluh. 

Lebih kepada perasaan bersalah sebab selama ni ke hulu ke hilir aku sendiri berdikari. Sekarang nak refill botol air dengan air masak dari dapur pun terpaksa mintak mama tolong.

Mama datang. Kesian dia. Tapi dia cakap dia lagii kesian aku sebab tak dapat makan. Mama dulu mengandungkan kami berenam semua dia macam ni. Gagah sungguh mama aku. Ya اَللّهُ kau berilah dia ganjaran syurga tanpa hisab. Aku nak lepas dua minggu ni lagi pun dah merengek-rengek.

Selalu mimpi makan. Dah nak suap. Tiba-tiba terbangun. Nangis. Dengar lagu nasyid kat tv, nangis. Tengok drama, nangis. Tak dapat makan sebab loya, nangis. 


Susahnya menjadi ibu. Bertuah kamu-kamu yang tak perlu melalui sickness macam ni. Sayanglah ibu kamu. Hormatilah dia. Doakan dia.

Sesungguhnya dia itu superwoman.

اَللّهُ Maha Besar

Xoxo

Sunday 17 January 2016

A New Beginning

Dengan Nama اَللّهُ yang Maha Pengasih Lagi Maha Penyayang

Doakan kami

Week 10 is coming

Sudah didengari denyut jantungnya

Tetapi perasaan risau itu masih ada

Doakan saya

Agar tabah menghadapi ujian yang hebat ini. Dikuatkan semangat untuk terus berjuang walaupun tubuh lemah longlai. Besar dugaannya untuk bersedia menerima roh amanah اَللّهُ yang istimewa ini.

Doakan dia

Agar sabar melayan keluh kesah saya sepanjang tiga bulan pertama ini.

Agar tidur malamnya masih cukup untuk dia berjuang di siang hari mencari rezeki buat penghidupan kami. Walaupun acap kali dia tersedar dengan batuk dengan larian saya ke tandas untuk meredakan loya dan pening. 

Doakan baby

Agar dia masih mampu membesar dengan elok dalam keadaan saya tidak punya selera makan. Bubur nasi dicampur gula dan air masak, itulah suapan saya pada dia. 

Ingin saya umumkan pada dunia tapi kerisauan itu masih bersarang di hati

Mudahan semuanya baik-baik saja

اَللّهُ Maha Besar