Oh. Abandoned writing for a bit again.
A lot has happened since the last post.
Ok. Nak start macam mana ya?
Last post, kira macam dah announce pregnant kan at the end of the post? This post ada lagi satu kejutan.
I was well into my 11th week of pregnancy. The morning sickness was really crazy. Good thing I quit my job and stayed at home. Jadinya bolehlah baring dan melayan loya yang super duper tu. Weird thing is tak vomit pun. Boleh kira, dua kali je vomit. Even then that was because rasa loya habis masa kumur mulut time berwudhu. Most of the time just pening, and changes to the physique I guess. Saying goodbye to my jeans yang saiz 25 tu. The bright side of it, bolehlah actually let them go dah and buy some proper loose clothing.
I went for checkups kat klinik kesihatan je. First scan was when I first went to see a doctor for confirmation pregnant ke tak. Mungkin boleh share sikit pengalaman dapat tahu pregnant sini kan?
Time tu kerja lagi. Awal Ramadhan. Tapi tahun ni rasa pelik sangat. Tahun lepas puasa jugak tapi taklah rasa penat sangat macam ni. Memandangkan sahur awal, jadi husband and I pun bertolak awal to the office. Sampai je office confirm rasa penat habis dan nak tido. Good thing I have my own room so boleh kunci pintu dan off lampu untuk nap bawah meja beralaskan sejadah. Sejam atleast. Kalau bangun lagi awal sikit dari tu confirm pening lagi. Sampai lunch, ngantuk lagi. So ok, mungkin penat sebab dahlah puasa, and this year husband and I dah move to our own place so naturally I memang akan masak for berbuka / sahur. So lunch hour was spend taking a nap again. Since we clock in early in the morning, we get to leave the office earlier. Sampai je rumah pun tido lagi before masak / berbuka.
Constantly having the urge to pass urine. Seriously? Mana datang semua air ni? Rasanya tak minum banyak sangat masa berbuka sebab lepas tu kan nak tarawih. Takpelah. Maybe this year the body is trying to detox itself. Tapi dah sampai tahap annoying dah bila tengah malam pun have to drag myself out of bed twice or three times just to relieve myself. That one night, it hit me! Ok, when was I supposed to expect my menses? Terus ambil handphone and check. Oops, I'm late. Tapi tak mungkin jugak sebab before this when I'm super stressed out at the office, confirm menses pun jadi tak teratur. So a few days late up to a week is pretty normal if you were to ask any doctor. Time tu terfikir pasal pregnancy test yang memang I simpan dalam almari. But its so late at night. Takpelah, esok boleh kot. I went back to bed.
First thing in the morning, of course lah kan rasa macam nak meletup je perut ni tahan kencing. I thought of last night. Ok. Even if the result is negative again, at least I can proceed to check why this constant visit to the toilet. Tip-toed to the toilet. It was very early on a Saturday morning. Husband was still sleeping, probably worn-out from futsal session the night before. Read the instructions carefully, then clock out 2 minutes countdown. That was when I see it, the line darkens. Macam tak percaya. Before this memang dah takda perasaan dah. But this time, its real. Tapi it could be false positive kan? (impression di sini ialah pregnancy test murah from drug store. hakhak!) Its so early. Tak sure pun 7-Eleven dah bukak ke belum. But with shaky hands, I changed and told husband I need to go out.
"Sayang, nak pergi kedai dulu boleh sebab nak beli barang,"
"Hmm? Nak beli apa?"
"Uhm,, Cili and some other stuff,"
"(angguk kepala mata still tertutup) Tapi kan puasa? Tunggu petang nanti lah kita pergi bazaar sama2,"
"Takpe, kejap je. Please? Tido balik eh. I love you,"
"(muffled I love you too)"
Satu hal pulak kereta besar tu park depan, So with shaky hands drive la awal pagi dengan misi mencari home pregnancy test. Bought two boxes - just to be sure. Balik and test lagi. And there it is again! That dark colored line. Bergetar2 tangan. Tapi the first thing to do is to tell husband.
"Sayang... sayang bangun... please... kejap je.."
When he opened his eyes, I showed him the stick. He squinted a bit. Then said
"Oh, tengah fertile ke? (yes, ada home test kit untuk pinpoint two most fertile day during your cycle ok)"
I shook my head and said look again. This time he didn't move. Just stared at the stick, and then at me. Then the most wonderful thing happened. His tears started to flow. He hugged me. I was still shaking with the stick in my hand. Lama dia peluk. Allahuakbar. Then he said we must not get ahead of ourselves. Bertenang dulu.
We got up and got some breakfast. Time seem to slow down that morning. We enjoyed the day with bright sun shining into the living room. Serene. For once, I felt a sliver of hope. Husband smiling sweetly at me. Jack playing around the house. The weekend went great.
to be continued....
