20w

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Just a few days ago kami dikejutkan dengan berita seorang rakan yang going through miscarriage at 15w of pregnancy. The news hit us hard and we actually cried. Bagi sesiapa yang pernah melalui miscarriages je faham perasaan tu. The wait for blood tests, the confirmation and reconfirmation through ultrasounds. Finally it came to the day when you have to decide method nak remove baby from the womb.

Husband teared up, lama jugak, because it is one of his bestfriend. Diorang baru kahwin tahun lepas. Kami jadi pengapit (rasanya ada cerita tu di SINI)

Lama jugak kami pause the show that we were watching on tv just to get through the emotional flood tu. Aku message the guy sebab takde number wife dia. I found out about the news pun sebab diorang share kat group whatsapp geng diorang (yang aku dah quit - maybe tak payah lah tahu kenapa kan?).

Esoknya diorang baru nak jumpa dengan doctor and since dah dua kali ultrasound, dah confirmed dah heartbeat dah takde. Latest news I got from them is the wife's instagram photo of them holding hands.

I hope they will go through this phase and come out stronger than ever. Kami tahu bukan senang. It took me awhile jugak nak recover dulu. It took me a week just to let reality sink in and then I don't know how many more months of endless crying and breakdown episodes. Semoga Allah memberikan kekuatan kepada mereka berdua.

Sedihnya sebab patutnya kami akan bersalin selang seminggu je.

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So, this week dah 20th week. Baby menendang dengan cemerlang. Always ever so strong after food, cold water or just before bed.

Semalam time baby active tendang after dinner, I decided to pull husband's hand and place his palm on my tummy. Tak lama lepas tu baby tendang and he got excited. Dia senyum and macam signal "was that it?", aku angguk je and kitorang tak berani bersuara pun tapi senyum-senyum je tunggu next kick. Takde plak.

Husband flu lagi semalam. On MC. Kesian jugak dia. He told me his records always show MCs at the beginning of the year for the past 1-2 years. I told him my guess is the weather lah kot kan when it is so so hot.

Sekarang ni symptom paling tak best ialah heartburn dan sesak nafas. Baby makin besar dah. Bila sapu minyak kelapa di perut tu aku belek jugak get ready nak jumpa stretch marks. Alhamdulillah belum ada lagi. Maybe I should start measuring my tummy kan? Sekarang dah besar dah, macam frust pulak bila banyak seluar dah tak muat. I need to clear my wardrobe I think.

And yang paling mengecewakan sekarang ialah bila tengok collection RTW baju raya online yang cantik from this one seller yang aku sangat suka. I dont think I can fit into his clothes lah this raya. Been trying to find a matchy-matchy pair for us both. Adala jumpa semalam yang paling murah a pair at RM170. Cantik jugak. Will probably try to whatsapp the seller and ask for sizes.

So, thing is, what size should I buy considering I'll be a bulging 8 months pregnant mother during raya? :O

xoxo

19w

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

As I was watching Downton Abbey earlier, I felt baby moving. But this time, there was a bulge on my bump. It appeared as soon as it disappeared. I was shocked! :D

The weather has been unbearable lately. It rained for a bit in the afternoon (which I am very grateful for) but after 5pm it is all sunshine again.

Vacuumed the hall today, folded the laundry and that is my limit already. I used to be able to do full swing housecleaning in a day, including mopping. Not anymore I guess.

Baby will make his/her presence known. A kick to remind mama to stop and continue watching Downton Abbey.

I am already at Season 6 on the final few episodes I am afraid. Guess I will have series withdrawal when I am done with Downton Abbey.

Tried new series like Call the Midwife, Upstairs Downstairs (2010), Doctor Who - they're just not the same. Guess I will have to keep searching.

Husband is currently trying to catch up with his Walking Dead episodes. Least of my favorite, really, but still interesting to pick my curiosity on what is going to happen next.

Did I tell you I sweat alot these days?

Sighs.

xoxo

17032016 what could have been

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

17 March 2015

what could or have been, the day that we celebrate the arrival of a new member in our family.

it was my estimated due date of birth for our very first child, if he/she had survived the pregnancy in 2014.

So this year, on this day, it could have been a birthday party thrown to celebrate his/her first birthday.

Tak tahu kenapa tiba-tiba teringat. Tapi tak apa lah. Bukan rezeki kami. I am sure Allah has His plans laid out perfectly for us.

Sekarang, I am carrying precious cargo in me. :)

I need to take care of myself.

I am looking forward to the day when he/she arrives. Husband pun selalu cakap macam tu bila dia cakap dengan baby.

Kami doakan ini rezeki kami. Tapi kita hanya mampu merancang kan?

xoxo

18w1D

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Alhamdulillah. Dah lama tak blogging, tengok-tengok dah sampai week 18 rupanya ye? :D

Last Friday dah pergi check up lagi after a month. Pilih klinik biasa je dekat dengan housing area kami. The one before this memang ramai sangat orang dan klinik pun macam shabby semacam. Doktor pun macam rushing sangat nak explain pasal ultrasound images.

So this time decide pergi Klinik Sofea Putra Perdana. Cantik klinik dia. Bersih. Masa masuk nak daftar tu, kaunter tak ada orang. Bila panggil, keluarla this lady yang macam tengah makan malam. Huhu. Apologized and commented "staff pergi pasar malam ye? (sebab ada pasar malam every Friday di deretan kedai sebelah je)". Dia pun mengiyakan je.

Lepas daftar tu, terus masuk sebab tak ada patient lain. Then the lady took her place behind the desk. Ahahaha! Rupanya lady tu ialah doktornya. Tergelak kejap. She took my blood pressure, normal at 100/60. That's considered normal for my size tau (152cm/44kg).

Then pergi timbang berat badan kat bilik sebelah, naik sekilo je jadi 45kg. I asked if kene naik berat badan lagi tak sebab ni pun macam baru recover berat badan yang hilang lepas admitted hospital haritu. Tapi... doktor cakap jangan! Like seriously cakap jangan-jangan. Dia cakap for your size that's already a good progress of 1-2kg per month. Kang baby besar sangat sapa juga susah nak meneran kan? Haha!

We started off generally cari baby, senang je sebab dia macam dah besar jugak, then doctor turn on doppler bagi dengar heartbeat dia, 147beats/minute. That's good. Then ukur lilit kepala dia, body length, lepas tu tengok tulang paha dia (surprisingly memang dan nampak putih sebab dan dense kan?). All in all baby is growing at a healthy rate for his/her age. Banyak doktor explain. Tunjuk placenta (location belah kiri bawah sikit) but no concern for previa sebab nanti bila rahim membesar lagi confirm placenta akan tertarik dan memanjang ke atas. Amniotic liquid pun ok, tak banyak sangat dan tak sikit sangat. (ops! terasa baby kick sikit bila type ni :D)

Lastly husband macam malu-malu tanya, tak nampak ke boy or girl? Doktor gelak lagi (best la doktor ni), dia cakap belum lagi dik oi, maybe next month boleh.

Time ultrasound tu baby lambai-lambai ok, nampak kat monitor dia. Papa dia happy je tengok. Last check-up husband tak ikut plak sebab buat hari bekerja. Lepas ni kitorang set dah akan pergi almost weekend/weekend je and husband akan ikut sama untuk tengok progress baby.

Doctor ambik blood sample sekali untuk check HB. They called on Tuesday (very fast turnaround time), telling me sihat at 11.2. Yeay! Kalau ada case HB rendah kne ambik extra iron and I heard taste ubat iron ni sangat tak best. Phewh!

Supplement doctor suruh maintain je multivitamin biasa and folic acid kalau takleh makan obimin. My only issue with obimin is akan rasa loya (probably sebab iron content dia tinggi). Dr. Adilah ada suggest brand lain tapi tak tercari lagi. Dr. Liyana ni cakap its ok as long as your diet is good and you top up jugak dengan multivitamins lagi.

Oh! Haritu 29 February 2016, malam lepas dinner macam biasa lah kami tengok tv series kan (senang betul dah ada android box ni, dah tak layan astro langsung kecuali sports channel sebab streaming selalu quality tak elok for live matches). Letakla tangan kat perut kan sebab kenyang. Tiba-tiba, rasa macam nudge kat bahagian abdomen bawah belah kanan. Terkejut dan terjerit sikit. Husband pun pause tv tanya kenapa sakit ke? I said baby kicked. Terkedu kejap dan we were teary eyed. Oh! How fast you've grown baby. The days after that sampai lah harini memang active baby ni nudge and kick.

Bagitau Dr. Liyana last week baby dah kick (ada rasa quickening) tu, dia cakap eh cepatnya, normally people can only feel 20 weeks + or 5 month above, probably perut kecik dan kulit nipis kot takde lemak. But it was the best sensation. Malam sebelum tidur dia akan gerak, siang bangun pagi dia akan kejutkan, time tengok tv series dengan mama tengahari kadang dia kacau lagi.

Pergerakan paling banyak yang boleh rasa dengan tangan ialah semalam lepas makan nasi dan ayam masak lemak cili api untuk minum petang. Kelas kau, minum petang makan nasi ngan lauk. Haha!

Truth is sekarang ni memang masih catu makanan sebab kalau makan banyak sangat in one go confirm muntah balik. So far dah...almost berapa hari eh tak muntah. Syukur alhamdulillah. Finally there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Nanti ada update kita poret lagi ye?

Sekarang macam panic bila kawan-kawan tanya dah beli this/that belum?

Sebab.... belum beli apa pun lagi. We still have time... I think. :D

xoxo