How I Met My Husband

Disclaimer: Post ni super panjang. Kalau rajin baca go ahead. :P

Aha! Hehehe. Dah lama menyepi kan? Adalah tu cerita dia. Ulang-alik somewhere and tiba-tiba ramai pulak yang datang visiting so jadilah driver bertauliah. Ada hikmah jugak quit keje hari tu. Bila ada orang mintak tolong, bolehlah bantu sebab banyak masa terluang. Tapi tapi tapi, lately ni doctor suruh duduk dirumah aja, berehat katanya. Okaylah. Tapi (lagi) sakit mata la tengok habuk. Cerdas dan tangkas sungguh labah-labah kat rumah ni buat sarang. Sejak jalan belakang rumah tu open for public use, bila bukak tingkap dapur je banyak habuk masuk. Memang kene sapu hari-hari. Kalau tak bukak nanti air circulation dalam rumah tak elok pulak kan. Takpe. Kita sapu slow-slow takat mana yang mampu.

Banyak pulak komplen ye? Hehe.

Jom korek balik kenangan lama.

Bukan apa, tidak ada niat nak menunjuk, cumanya suka bercerita dan berkongsi pengalaman. Sebabnye bila orang tanya aku orang mana dan husband asal mana, soalannya: jauhnye.

Macam mana jumpa?

Ceritanya begini.....

Flashback jauh sikit ye.

Lepas habis Tingkatan 5, aku ada hati nak sambung matrikulasi. Daddy memang bengang habis la sebab dia nak aku stay dekat and sambung Tingkatan 6 je. Aku cakap kalau Sains susah lah. Please let me go because kat sana nanti ada exposure baru. Dahlah dulu lepas Tingkatan 3 tak bagi tukar sekolah (result PMR cantik), takkan kali ni nak larang lagi? (remaja ye. memang melawan. mudahan anak kitorang nanti senang sikit jaga. amiin)

Hari yang aku mintak Daddy sign borang matrikulasi tu, mata Daddy tak berganjak pun dari tv ok. Aku pun duduk je kat lantai depan dia, letak borang tu atas coffee table and tunggu dia sign. Bila azan Maghrib dah berkumandang, baru dia off tv, dia ambik borang tu dan sign, pastu masuk bilik. He didn't even utter a single word. Berapa lama aku duduk situ pun aku tak ingat tapi boleh tahan keras kepala jugak aku ni, kan?

So I got what I wanted. I spent a year in Labuan Matriculation College. Seronok! First time kot keluar dari rumah. Alhamdulillah pandai la jugak uruskan diri walaupun banyak tiru/belajar daripada budak-budak yang dah biasa duduk asrama. Budak bilik aku time tu semua budak day-school. So semua pun pakat ajar each other kalau dapat tips baru utk jemur kain, bajet groceries, kemas baju sendiri dalam almari, packing barang etc etc.

After that, sampai lagi masa untuk pilih nak mohon universiti mana. Of course lah universiti tempatan kan sebab itulah yang termampu. Sekali lagi...sekali lagi aku gaduh dengan Daddy. Dia nak jugak aku ikut jejak langkah kakak aku (dulu dia Tingkatan 6 pastu further her studies in UM reading Law). Aku cakap kamon la kan, budak Sains nak buat Law? Aku serious tak minat. Please jangan paksa. I wanted to be a doctor. Tapi tak cukup pandai so aku downgrade nak jadi nurse (still stay in medicine field). Influence ni datang sebab aku ni dari kecik dah selalu ada kes istimewa bila masuk hospital. Itu kita cerita next time. Gaduh punya gaduh, I gave in.

Bila nak isi borang UPU tu, ada 8 pilihan. Boleh-boleh pilihan 1-3 aku adalah yang paling pelik. 1)UM-Law?, 2) UIA-Law??? 3)Aku tak ingat jugak tapi Law jugak rasanya. Sungguhlah sesat. Time isi UPU tu, that year it was conducted online. My mentor-lecturer kat college tanya, kenapa pilihan awak ni macam ni? I had to tell him it was my father's wish. Ikutkan jela. Seterusnya, 4) Unimas-Nursing. 5) UMS- Geologi. Yang lain hujung-hujung tu aku tak ingat sangat. I know one of them was Physiology though.

Kenapa Geologi sesat situ? Sebabnya, time kat matrikulasi pun, result aku jatuh merundum. Entahlah, aku ni tak pandai belajar ke atau tak pandai jawab soalan exam. Time scroll through choices tu (aku ingat lagi time tu pergi town and duduk kat cc supaya aku sorang and boleh fikir dengan waras), ternampak course ni. My dad memang keje oil and gas and he was a mud engineer dulu. Dari kecik I was told of stories about working offshores bagai. Antara gambar pertama aku time kecik ialah pakai ear muff yang Daddy bawak balik dari offshore ye. Huhu. Bila baca description tu, okay, boleh kot. Macam seronok je belajar Sains Bumi ni.

Fast forward to second month in Universiti Malaysia Sabah main campus.

Time tu aku tengah beratur kat ATM. Line panjang gile so sabar jelah. Then tetiba adala sorang kawan sekolah dulu lalu, si R ni. Dia tegur kejap je sebab nak kejar bas. Tak lama lepas tu dia patah balik berdiri sebelah aku. Dia terus tanya...

"I am doing someone a big favor ni sampai sanggup miss the bus. (dia duduk off campus yang around >5km away)"
"Oh? Favor apa plak ni?"
"Ada orang nak berkenalan dengan kau. Kalau kau izin, baru aku bagi nombor hp kau. Kalau tak, we'll forget this conversation ever happened,"
"Hmm.. Dari mana dia kenal aku?"
"Dia pernah nampak kau sekali, pastu dok tanya semua orang kau tu sapa,"
"Mak ai. Hensem tak?"
"Bengong. Nak bagi ke tak? Cepat! Next bus dah nak sampai tu, dahla panas ni,"
"Okaylah-okaylah bagi je. Tapi bagitau aku dah ada boyfriend,"
"You won't regret this,"

And he took off just like that.

Rasanya the next day kot, time on the way nak pergi meeting Baktisiswa (time tu kitorang buat program kem motivasi untuk bebudak sekolah menengah), message masuk. Korang sekarang semua Whatsapp la WeChat la SnapChat la bagai kan? Kitorang dulu pakai SMS!

"Hai, boleh berkenalan? (aku tak ingat full message sebab time tu tengah busy)"
"Boleh kot. Tapi sekarang saya sibuk, dua tiga hari ni nanti saya akan ke luar bandar untuk program. Nanti bila saya free saya message awak balik,"

Hahaha! Mengelak habis. Time tu memang I was dating someone pun, cumanya long distance and ada lah problem jugak yang tak payahlah kita ungkit okay?

Dua tiga hari lepas tu, bila dah sampai sekolah tu and halfway nak start program, ada SMS masuk lagi.

"Hai, awak buat ape tu? Boleh message?"

Mamat ni lagi!!! "Ha, boleh tahan sibuk lah. Program dah mula,"

Lepas tu aku pun tak tahu macam mana, pandai betul dia berSMS, sampai aku pun menjawab, dan tanpa disedari, kitorang start balas membalas SMS.

Bila balik ke kampus, satu hari tu aku rushing kejar bas after class. Tengahari panas dan aku super lapar. Lupa pulak dah kat mamat tu sebab kitorang stop SMS and aku dah fokus dengan kelas semester pertama yang sangatlah tak ampun I tell you. Sampai je bilik, dia SMS.

"Saya nampak awak tadi lari kejar bas. Dengan baju kurung oren dan beg purple bunga-bunga. Nak telefon awak boleh?"

Annoying nye mamat ni!! Aku tak respond. Lepas tu dia call. Adui.... jawab jela....Aku buat-buat suara ngantuk, "saya penat ni, awak nak apa?"

"oh yeke? Sori. Saje nak borak. Takpelah. Bye,"

Entah macam mana, aku pun tak ingat, time tu gaduh dengan ex bf. Kebetulan dia call malam tu. So dengan menangis tu aku jawab jugak telefon dia. Kitorang borak lama. Tak borak pun. Aku cakap, takde mood nak borak and please jangan kacau aku lagi. Dia kata, dia tahu aku ada bf and malas nak layan dia. I can treat him as a friend, tapi dia cakap, dia terus-terang tak nak kawan JE dengan aku.

Dipendekkan cerita, entah macam mana lagi, hati aku terbukak nak berkawan dengan dia. Musim exam pun dah sampai. Kebetulan kitorang ada satu paper am yang sama. Dia ajak jumpa. Paper Hubungan Etnik rasanya. Lecturer Nordi Achie. Super best lecturer ni. Memang gamble habis la nak jumpa time exam kan? First paper plak tu. Gila!

Time tunggu nak masuk dewan exam tu, dudukla kat luar dengan geng-geng aku. Tetiba si Halim jerit panggil aku, weh Anne, dia la si Reza tuh! Reza apa lagi, terus panic, toleh tempat lain dan nyorok belakang tiang. Dia SMS aku cakap jumpa kat tiang tu nanti bila dah nak masuk.

Haha! First thing yang aku ingat pasal dia ialah pencil case dia. Beg Toblerone. Rasanya orang laki lain tak pakai pun pencil case gitu. This might be interesting.

And so... fast forward to present. Bila kitorang cerita-cerita balik, memang tergelak-gelak and sampai sekarang masih boleh buat bahan. Rasanya sampai bila-bila jugak kot masih boleh buat bahan.

He revealed that:
1) Hari pertama dia nampak aku ialah 1 Julai 2006, time nak daftar masuk kolej kediaman. Aku baru nak keluar dewan, turun tangga, dia dan geng-geng dia baru nak masuk dewan, tengah naik tangga. Dia cakap dia terkedu tengok aku tapi aku langsung tak pandang dia. Benda pertama yang dia ingat pasal aku time tu, rambut panjang, baju kurung tapi kasut sukan. (time tu aku terdesak sebab tak beli lagi kasut kuliah yang elok. erk...atau memang aku tak pandai nak bergaya). Yang paling penting, anting-anting bulat warna hitam.

2) Kali kedua dia jumpa aku, kat cafe kolej kediaman tu. Aku datang meja dia sebab nak tanya khabar kawan aku si R tu tadi. Dia cakap dia tanya aku sekolah mana kursus apa (time tu tak tukar jadi fakulti lagi), aku langsung tak jawab. (serious? sumpah aku tak ingat pun nampak dia kat meja tu. and sumpah sampai sekarang dia sumpah he was at that table and I ignored him)

3) Lepas habis minggu suai kenal tu, dia dapat kolej kediaman off-campus, and couldn't locate me. So lost macam tu aja. He went around asking people yang dia kenal yang dari matrikulasi Labuan pasal "this girl with long hair and black earrings". Itu description aku time tu. Kebetulan housemate dia sorang budak satu team silat dengan aku time college dulu. Si Awan tu. Dia cakap nama aku Fitriyana/Fitriyani. (what????!!!) Makanya, dia pun mencari la lagi di mana-mana fakulti yang ada kawan dia, with that description and fake name.

I revealed to him that:
1) Sebelum kitorang jumpa time first paper tu, aku ada risik pasal dia ngan coursemates / geng aku yang memang duduk off campus tu.

2) Aku tanya dia hensem tak? Muahahahaha.

3) Diorang cakap hensem and baik sangat. Pastu tetiba Halim kenalkan aku dengan coursemate aku yang sorang lagi yang housemate dengan husband aku ni.

Keciknya dunia.....Boleh ye pusing-pusing gitu.

During wedding ceremony kitorang, MC ada tanya macam mana kitorang kenal. At that time we took the opportunity to thank our friend, R. Thank you for missing that bus for us. R sekarang menetap kat Kota Kinabalu rasanya. He never left. Married a nice Sabahan girl and already has a son.

Aku tanya lagi, since our mutual friends dah banyak sangat tu, why did it took him months to find me?

His extensive search was done kat SPP - Sekolah Psikologi dan Pendidikan.

Really?

Muka aku ni ada nampak macam cikgu ke?????


Xoxo.

The Proposal - The Engagement Party

So it's the month of March.

Flashback three years ago.

Kawan-kawan ajak us out for dinner. That year, I can say we have dated for about 6 years? Which is a pretty long time I would say. Halfway through tu when we did the long-distance relationship (me working here in KL and him still in Sabah doing his final year of engineering), I almost thought things were really really falling apart between us. I was absorbed with work and him with his final year thesis.

Dinner with the friends (his friends - as in his circle of friends which I got so lucky to be able to call my best friends too) was set at The Curve. Favorite hangout place there would be Marche Movenpick la kan. Dulu time office still in Damansara/PJ agak selalu la jugak we frequent that place. It was on a working day, and since I am closer (time tu office kat PJ), I managed to reach the place first. He was still on his way from KL even after everybody has arrived.

Time sampai tu adala this couple friend who just got married the year before, asked when are we (me and the then-boyfriend-now-husband) are going to tie the knot. Aku terdiam and just said "well korang kene tanya dia lah kot (insert gelak nervous disitu)".

I quickly forgot about that and catch up with the others sebab dah ramai and dah lapar so we started ordering.

He finally arrived. Sesi makan (melahap) pun mula. I am quite amazed at myself jugak sebab dulu time kat uni aku ni bukan jenis yang kuat makan. The then-boyfriend-now-husband yang selalu habiskan makanan aku. But now I can easily finish any food on my plate and sometimes makan malam, the amount of nasi I put on my plate can double his. Cumanya berat badan ni still maintain jugak for the past 3 years. Cacing? Dah setahun sekali dah buat. Takde pun. Genetik kot?

Dah sibuk-sibuk makan tu, the couple tanya la the then-boyfriend-now-husband pulak, same question. I cringed inside. Okay, agak menakutkan sebab apa, entah. Aku pun tak tau kenapa. But somehow I was calm enough to know his answer would be "tak sure lagi, nak kumpul duit lagi blabla" because somehow after all those years of dating, we never really talked about getting married. Like seriously.

But I'm going to cut to the chase and spare you the suspense. Jawapan dia....

"7 July 2012, in shaa Allah," (jawab dengan sepantas kilat sambil suap makanan masuk mulut)

OK BYE! Aku pulak terkedu di situ. I looked at him. In the background, our friends - all of them heard this and tengah bersorak. I don't really remember what happened next or throughout dinner tu.

Time balik tu he walked me to my car and I asked,

"Urh, tadi tu..was a joke ke?"

"Do you want it to be a joke?"

"Honestly, no?"

"Then it was not a joke,"

"But then if it was not meant to be a joke, shouldn't I be the first to know of the said date?"

"Haha. (dia suke gelak je, kadang-kadang stress jugak especially when the situation warrants some seriousness). Well it is said then. Now we just need to figure out how to get it done,"

"Reza (we usually just address each other with our name when the conversation is serious), its February. The said date is in July. We haven't even try to even hint the parents that rombongan nak datang meminang, there's the arrangements, bookings and stuff to do (nada panic),"

"We'll find a way. Drive safe. I love you,"

Dengan macam tu je, he proposed. Tada! Sorrylah kalau our love story ni short of any fairytale getting down on one knee or the planned surprise proposal. But this is it. This is how it all started. Kebetulan the week after tu I am flying back to attend a childhood friend's wedding. Jiran dari umur 3 tahun ok. So... after wedding ceremony dia tu, that night I told dad, we need to talk. I think he kind of figured it out la because of course la I akan bagitau mummy dulu and of course mummy akan bisik to daddy.

"I heard you wanted to deliver a news?"

Muka daddy time dia cakap macam tu, lain. Dads, they can tell that when their babygirl is all grown up and one day they have to let them go hoping the man they chose will continue to love them till the end of the world and beyond. Senyum daddy lain.

"Yea. About that, bismillah... (jantung rasa macam nak gugur). So... I think you're aware of me dating this guy name Reza from uni,"

"A-ha.. continue,"

"Well, we thought that after seeing each other, being friends for 6 years or so, we thought we want to upgrade the relationship one level, with your blessing of course,"

Time tu rasa macam time stopped. Part of me risau he will say no, part of me rasa macam...entah...takut kot?

Reza came to visit my family during one semester break, a year after we date. Time hantar dia gi airport tu, daddy ada cakap kat dia, come back and visit us again another time. He said in shaa Allah. But after that Reza cakap to me when we're alone, "I takkan datang lawat lagi, until, I have something to offer,". Aku pegang kata-kata ni, and years after that, Reza tak pernah berhubung dengan any family member except the occasional kirim salam/eid wishes.

But daddy remembers me telling him this bila the next year tu my dad tanya Reza tak datang visit lagi ke?

Bring you back to the moment...

"Are you sure? This is the right time and the right guy?"

"in shaa Allah daddy, I am sure (aku dah start nak nangis dah)"

"then you have our (mummy and daddy) blessing. We want you to be happy. We know you are your best when you're with him. To be honest I respect him for what he promised you. He will only come back once he have something to offer. That's a real man and you're very lucky. We hope you two can be very happy together, forever. Now, we need to get things going. I need to pull out my wedding organizer (yes, dia ada buku wedding organizer dari zaman kakak-abang dulu). The last wedding in the family is in year 2005. That was 7 years ago?"

Lepas tu, soalan cepumas lagi, "bila rombongan nak datang?". I said I'll ask Reza and we'll discuss more.

Discussions after discussions, we decided to chose a weekend for that event. 24th of March 2012 / 1 Jamadilawal 1433H. Good date in the Hijri calendar. Beginning of the month.

Looking back at all these, our affairs sangatlah dipermudahkan oleh Allah subhanahuwata'ala.

First of all, aku bukan jenis cerewet. Ok sikitla but only about work. Kalau pasal diri sendiri, boleh kira agak comot la kan. Tak tahu pun upacara (ceh) tunang tu nak berlangsung macam mana sebab when my sisters and brothers got engage/married, I was I can say too young to really know what is going on or to even focus on the detail. Yang aku tahu, yeay kenduri. So yeah. 

BAJU+TUDUNG

Aku tak tahu nak pakai apa. I decided not to wear white because I want to save that for my nikah. So dengan last minute nya, seminggu lagi nak tunang tu, aku heret Kitty, my best friend to accompany me pergi PKNS Shah Alam cari baju. Dengan rushingnye di petang Ahad tu, kitorang rembat je satu baju kat one of the boutique, jubah kaler hijau. Entah kenapa baju tu je yang berkenan di hati time tu. Lagipun, after we have decided nak really go serious ni, alhamdulillah I have started donning my hijab. Kitty ngan IRY jugak orang first teman aku pergi Jalan Masjid Jamek gi singgah beli. Tudung pun time dah nak balik tu baru macam terserempak satu kat patung yang super cantik. Rembat lagi. Kitty gelaaaak je. Serious budak ni comot betul. Iye la, aku dulu study Geologi. Berjemur pergi site segala. Skema habis bawak beg besar payung besar (yang sampai sekarang Reza akan ejek). Pastu keje plak first job second job keje site. Memang takde masa lah nak bercantik. Jeans, safety boots, tshirt, itula teman setia. And super selesa I tell you. 

CINCIN+HANTARAN??

We bought white gold coated je for myself (satu untuk cincin "buka mulut" dan satu lagi cincin "tanda tunang") That's how they call it back home. Hantaran plak takde apa, bagi RM150 je (aku masih simpan duit ni tak beli apa-apa pun lagi) dan satu dulang manisan from him (jelebi, barfi, & laddoo). Takde balasan dulang except for one silver ring for himself.

JAMUAN MAKAN

Yang ni aku bagi parents settle. It was good food. 

PELAMIN

perlu ke? Serious time ni aku tak tahu la nak pelamin-pelamin ni so takde. TAK ADA. My siblings dulu tak ada so takpela kot. Lagipun, tunang ni macam kene senyap-senyap la sikit kan. Just in case things did not work out the way we planned it to be.

MAKEUP ARTISTE

Tak ada jugak. Aku ingat nak natural je haritu. Mummy bising. Muahaha. So last minute mintak tolong kakak ipar aku touch up sikit. Aku cakap tak mau tebal sebab my usual make up pun just moisturizer, sunblock, eyeliner. Thats me on a normal day kalau tak pergi site.

PHOTOGRAPHER

Haa... ni aku splurge sikit to capture moments. Of course the best in town is Unisys Syndicate. From their portfolio, they're super good at what they do. The principal photographer pun family friends jugak. Our fathers used to work together back in Shell. Dia plak geng kakak aku. Bila tanya harga, he said itu belakang kira. I'm happy you're getting engaged. See you on the big day. Senang kan?

Majlis berlangsung tengahari after Zohor, around 2-ish. Kira terus minum petang la. Kejap je. Sebenarnya ada la jugak hint dengan Reza kan, suruh tukar tarikh pergi November ke December ke, atleast panjang la jugak masa nak arrange itu ini. 

Tapi, bila dah start buka mulut tu (abang dia jadi facilitator), the usual ada hajat, the usual gurauan bunga mana nak dipetik, the usual yang tu yang tengah duduk malu-malu, and the usual gelak ketawa, sampai masa semua setuju, pastu, tanya tarikh. Time ni aku tengok je muka mamat Reza ni. And... still 7 July 2012. Adehai. Dia senyum je. Lepas ni kene panaskan enjin otak la untuk tambah "projek" untuk di "manage". 

So, that's all folks! (siapa peminat warner brothers confirm tau music apa akan keluar dan macam mana bugs bunny sebut this sentence. haha!)

Aku share la sikit kan gambar. (sanggup ni korek dari Facebook)

These are our hantarans. Satu dulang of my rings, his rings, and the left is dulang manisan tadi. Paling atas tu favorite aku, barfi, made from milk and ghee kot. Sedap gile. Bawah tu yang bulat is laddoo, quite common untuk dapat kalo pergi Indian weddings. Yang oren tu is jelebi. Yang tu super manis.

Ni la family (aunties cousins belah daddy and mum's siblings). Adik beradik: abangs je ada sebab adik still in Uni tak dapat balik. Sisters, both married out of town so diorang pun tak balik. But it felt like they were there, happy for us.

And this is us. Lapar sebenarnya after nervous tadi hilang. Tinggi kan dia? Aku plak ketot. 

So for those of you wondering, the then-boyfriend-now-husband ni bangsa apa? Kenapa ada manisan macam tu? Kenapa pakai baju macamtu,that my friend is the uniqueness of Malaysia.Come to think of it, growing up in East Malaysia, that was never the question. But to answer yours, he is Pakistani. Bukan yang dari India tu k. Born in Malaysia. Keturunan Pakistani. Bahasa, hindustan or better known as Urdu. Bukan mamak sebab mamak ni Indian Muslim. Get your facts right. Ada paham? Agama Islam, alhamdulillah. Tak payah tanya banyak pasal ni. Sebab, our kids nantiwill also have an issue, what box to tick sebab we all agree there is no bangsa LAIN-LAIN. Melayu? Tak jugak. India? Tak jugak. Cina? Tak jugak. So how? Something that we can probably just letak Malaysian Muslim, in the future. 

Sebab, aku ni pun rojak. Melayu sikit, Jawa sikit, Cina pun ada.

Agaknya macam mana la rupa anak kitorang nanti ye? :)

xoxo