The Proposal - The Engagement Party

So it's the month of March.

Flashback three years ago.

Kawan-kawan ajak us out for dinner. That year, I can say we have dated for about 6 years? Which is a pretty long time I would say. Halfway through tu when we did the long-distance relationship (me working here in KL and him still in Sabah doing his final year of engineering), I almost thought things were really really falling apart between us. I was absorbed with work and him with his final year thesis.

Dinner with the friends (his friends - as in his circle of friends which I got so lucky to be able to call my best friends too) was set at The Curve. Favorite hangout place there would be Marche Movenpick la kan. Dulu time office still in Damansara/PJ agak selalu la jugak we frequent that place. It was on a working day, and since I am closer (time tu office kat PJ), I managed to reach the place first. He was still on his way from KL even after everybody has arrived.

Time sampai tu adala this couple friend who just got married the year before, asked when are we (me and the then-boyfriend-now-husband) are going to tie the knot. Aku terdiam and just said "well korang kene tanya dia lah kot (insert gelak nervous disitu)".

I quickly forgot about that and catch up with the others sebab dah ramai and dah lapar so we started ordering.

He finally arrived. Sesi makan (melahap) pun mula. I am quite amazed at myself jugak sebab dulu time kat uni aku ni bukan jenis yang kuat makan. The then-boyfriend-now-husband yang selalu habiskan makanan aku. But now I can easily finish any food on my plate and sometimes makan malam, the amount of nasi I put on my plate can double his. Cumanya berat badan ni still maintain jugak for the past 3 years. Cacing? Dah setahun sekali dah buat. Takde pun. Genetik kot?

Dah sibuk-sibuk makan tu, the couple tanya la the then-boyfriend-now-husband pulak, same question. I cringed inside. Okay, agak menakutkan sebab apa, entah. Aku pun tak tau kenapa. But somehow I was calm enough to know his answer would be "tak sure lagi, nak kumpul duit lagi blabla" because somehow after all those years of dating, we never really talked about getting married. Like seriously.

But I'm going to cut to the chase and spare you the suspense. Jawapan dia....

"7 July 2012, in shaa Allah," (jawab dengan sepantas kilat sambil suap makanan masuk mulut)

OK BYE! Aku pulak terkedu di situ. I looked at him. In the background, our friends - all of them heard this and tengah bersorak. I don't really remember what happened next or throughout dinner tu.

Time balik tu he walked me to my car and I asked,

"Urh, tadi tu..was a joke ke?"

"Do you want it to be a joke?"

"Honestly, no?"

"Then it was not a joke,"

"But then if it was not meant to be a joke, shouldn't I be the first to know of the said date?"

"Haha. (dia suke gelak je, kadang-kadang stress jugak especially when the situation warrants some seriousness). Well it is said then. Now we just need to figure out how to get it done,"

"Reza (we usually just address each other with our name when the conversation is serious), its February. The said date is in July. We haven't even try to even hint the parents that rombongan nak datang meminang, there's the arrangements, bookings and stuff to do (nada panic),"

"We'll find a way. Drive safe. I love you,"

Dengan macam tu je, he proposed. Tada! Sorrylah kalau our love story ni short of any fairytale getting down on one knee or the planned surprise proposal. But this is it. This is how it all started. Kebetulan the week after tu I am flying back to attend a childhood friend's wedding. Jiran dari umur 3 tahun ok. So... after wedding ceremony dia tu, that night I told dad, we need to talk. I think he kind of figured it out la because of course la I akan bagitau mummy dulu and of course mummy akan bisik to daddy.

"I heard you wanted to deliver a news?"

Muka daddy time dia cakap macam tu, lain. Dads, they can tell that when their babygirl is all grown up and one day they have to let them go hoping the man they chose will continue to love them till the end of the world and beyond. Senyum daddy lain.

"Yea. About that, bismillah... (jantung rasa macam nak gugur). So... I think you're aware of me dating this guy name Reza from uni,"

"A-ha.. continue,"

"Well, we thought that after seeing each other, being friends for 6 years or so, we thought we want to upgrade the relationship one level, with your blessing of course,"

Time tu rasa macam time stopped. Part of me risau he will say no, part of me rasa macam...entah...takut kot?

Reza came to visit my family during one semester break, a year after we date. Time hantar dia gi airport tu, daddy ada cakap kat dia, come back and visit us again another time. He said in shaa Allah. But after that Reza cakap to me when we're alone, "I takkan datang lawat lagi, until, I have something to offer,". Aku pegang kata-kata ni, and years after that, Reza tak pernah berhubung dengan any family member except the occasional kirim salam/eid wishes.

But daddy remembers me telling him this bila the next year tu my dad tanya Reza tak datang visit lagi ke?

Bring you back to the moment...

"Are you sure? This is the right time and the right guy?"

"in shaa Allah daddy, I am sure (aku dah start nak nangis dah)"

"then you have our (mummy and daddy) blessing. We want you to be happy. We know you are your best when you're with him. To be honest I respect him for what he promised you. He will only come back once he have something to offer. That's a real man and you're very lucky. We hope you two can be very happy together, forever. Now, we need to get things going. I need to pull out my wedding organizer (yes, dia ada buku wedding organizer dari zaman kakak-abang dulu). The last wedding in the family is in year 2005. That was 7 years ago?"

Lepas tu, soalan cepumas lagi, "bila rombongan nak datang?". I said I'll ask Reza and we'll discuss more.

Discussions after discussions, we decided to chose a weekend for that event. 24th of March 2012 / 1 Jamadilawal 1433H. Good date in the Hijri calendar. Beginning of the month.

Looking back at all these, our affairs sangatlah dipermudahkan oleh Allah subhanahuwata'ala.

First of all, aku bukan jenis cerewet. Ok sikitla but only about work. Kalau pasal diri sendiri, boleh kira agak comot la kan. Tak tahu pun upacara (ceh) tunang tu nak berlangsung macam mana sebab when my sisters and brothers got engage/married, I was I can say too young to really know what is going on or to even focus on the detail. Yang aku tahu, yeay kenduri. So yeah. 

BAJU+TUDUNG

Aku tak tahu nak pakai apa. I decided not to wear white because I want to save that for my nikah. So dengan last minute nya, seminggu lagi nak tunang tu, aku heret Kitty, my best friend to accompany me pergi PKNS Shah Alam cari baju. Dengan rushingnye di petang Ahad tu, kitorang rembat je satu baju kat one of the boutique, jubah kaler hijau. Entah kenapa baju tu je yang berkenan di hati time tu. Lagipun, after we have decided nak really go serious ni, alhamdulillah I have started donning my hijab. Kitty ngan IRY jugak orang first teman aku pergi Jalan Masjid Jamek gi singgah beli. Tudung pun time dah nak balik tu baru macam terserempak satu kat patung yang super cantik. Rembat lagi. Kitty gelaaaak je. Serious budak ni comot betul. Iye la, aku dulu study Geologi. Berjemur pergi site segala. Skema habis bawak beg besar payung besar (yang sampai sekarang Reza akan ejek). Pastu keje plak first job second job keje site. Memang takde masa lah nak bercantik. Jeans, safety boots, tshirt, itula teman setia. And super selesa I tell you. 

CINCIN+HANTARAN??

We bought white gold coated je for myself (satu untuk cincin "buka mulut" dan satu lagi cincin "tanda tunang") That's how they call it back home. Hantaran plak takde apa, bagi RM150 je (aku masih simpan duit ni tak beli apa-apa pun lagi) dan satu dulang manisan from him (jelebi, barfi, & laddoo). Takde balasan dulang except for one silver ring for himself.

JAMUAN MAKAN

Yang ni aku bagi parents settle. It was good food. 

PELAMIN

perlu ke? Serious time ni aku tak tahu la nak pelamin-pelamin ni so takde. TAK ADA. My siblings dulu tak ada so takpela kot. Lagipun, tunang ni macam kene senyap-senyap la sikit kan. Just in case things did not work out the way we planned it to be.

MAKEUP ARTISTE

Tak ada jugak. Aku ingat nak natural je haritu. Mummy bising. Muahaha. So last minute mintak tolong kakak ipar aku touch up sikit. Aku cakap tak mau tebal sebab my usual make up pun just moisturizer, sunblock, eyeliner. Thats me on a normal day kalau tak pergi site.

PHOTOGRAPHER

Haa... ni aku splurge sikit to capture moments. Of course the best in town is Unisys Syndicate. From their portfolio, they're super good at what they do. The principal photographer pun family friends jugak. Our fathers used to work together back in Shell. Dia plak geng kakak aku. Bila tanya harga, he said itu belakang kira. I'm happy you're getting engaged. See you on the big day. Senang kan?

Majlis berlangsung tengahari after Zohor, around 2-ish. Kira terus minum petang la. Kejap je. Sebenarnya ada la jugak hint dengan Reza kan, suruh tukar tarikh pergi November ke December ke, atleast panjang la jugak masa nak arrange itu ini. 

Tapi, bila dah start buka mulut tu (abang dia jadi facilitator), the usual ada hajat, the usual gurauan bunga mana nak dipetik, the usual yang tu yang tengah duduk malu-malu, and the usual gelak ketawa, sampai masa semua setuju, pastu, tanya tarikh. Time ni aku tengok je muka mamat Reza ni. And... still 7 July 2012. Adehai. Dia senyum je. Lepas ni kene panaskan enjin otak la untuk tambah "projek" untuk di "manage". 

So, that's all folks! (siapa peminat warner brothers confirm tau music apa akan keluar dan macam mana bugs bunny sebut this sentence. haha!)

Aku share la sikit kan gambar. (sanggup ni korek dari Facebook)

These are our hantarans. Satu dulang of my rings, his rings, and the left is dulang manisan tadi. Paling atas tu favorite aku, barfi, made from milk and ghee kot. Sedap gile. Bawah tu yang bulat is laddoo, quite common untuk dapat kalo pergi Indian weddings. Yang oren tu is jelebi. Yang tu super manis.

Ni la family (aunties cousins belah daddy and mum's siblings). Adik beradik: abangs je ada sebab adik still in Uni tak dapat balik. Sisters, both married out of town so diorang pun tak balik. But it felt like they were there, happy for us.

And this is us. Lapar sebenarnya after nervous tadi hilang. Tinggi kan dia? Aku plak ketot. 

So for those of you wondering, the then-boyfriend-now-husband ni bangsa apa? Kenapa ada manisan macam tu? Kenapa pakai baju macamtu,that my friend is the uniqueness of Malaysia.Come to think of it, growing up in East Malaysia, that was never the question. But to answer yours, he is Pakistani. Bukan yang dari India tu k. Born in Malaysia. Keturunan Pakistani. Bahasa, hindustan or better known as Urdu. Bukan mamak sebab mamak ni Indian Muslim. Get your facts right. Ada paham? Agama Islam, alhamdulillah. Tak payah tanya banyak pasal ni. Sebab, our kids nantiwill also have an issue, what box to tick sebab we all agree there is no bangsa LAIN-LAIN. Melayu? Tak jugak. India? Tak jugak. Cina? Tak jugak. So how? Something that we can probably just letak Malaysian Muslim, in the future. 

Sebab, aku ni pun rojak. Melayu sikit, Jawa sikit, Cina pun ada.

Agaknya macam mana la rupa anak kitorang nanti ye? :)

xoxo